Some of the subject lines from the 500+ spam emails in my "Bulk" folder…

  • I worry as debacle ingress - I’m a bit more concerned about the triumph egress…
  • I go on library drive - That’s nice. Pick up some books for me while you’re out…
  • tomcat intolerable - I agree. That’s why Oliver and Seamus are "fixed"…
  • In break by gleeful ungrateful - How dare those ungrateful be so gleeful!
  • I ask go devote concernedly - I respond stay disregard incautiously
  • communicate DDT - Tempting… but wait! Isn’t DDT banned? Oh, they’re so devious!
  • dam vertically - Because that dam that was three inches high, but covered 4,000 square feet didn’t seem to work out…
  • divorce tartan - Probably targeting the golfing community
  • And understand do furiously - A punk approach to learning…
  • SEXUALLY-EXPLICIT: cooper picture leisure coaches soaring at favorite consent - Wow! How did they know that’s what gets me hot?
  • the attacking stump made Vicky surrender - I think Vicky needs to cut back on the ’shrooms before the azaleas ambush…
  • Re: I comb a toxicology documentary - While I blow-dry a short film about allergies
  • weather vane posse - Finally, I get to join the cool clique!!!
  • inexperience checked - And, once confirmed, money taken…

Who exactly would feel compelled to open any of these emails?

Well, I’m off to order some Hoodia 9200 and some generic Viagra, while I get a PhD from home and buy some hot stocks. I’ll be so successful with the ladies, especially sporting my new Rolex!