It’s been awhile since I’ve provided an update on how our resident stroke victim has been doing.
First, the "interesting" bit…
Last Tuesday, while making a bathroom run, she tangled her feet in the bathroom throw rug and fell. After a few days of saying she was okay (but complaining about pain) we finally dragged her to the emergency room. (She’s terrified of leaving the house…)
Turned out that she had a hairline fracture of her upper humerus. Since the fracture is so close to the shoulder, a cast wouldn’t work so well. As such, she’s got her arm in a sling. Of course, since it is her right arm (her stroke-affected arm), she held it immobile anyway. Not much functional difference…
When she was at Carrington Place, she was always excited to see visitors, especially the kids. She kept telling us that she was getting better and she would be able to come home soon.
Once it was time to come home, she was very scared. She said she wasn’t better yet.
At home, any time we asked her if she wanted to go out, she’d get scared and say that she wasn’t ready - that she’d do it when she was better.
We told her that this might be as good as she was going to get, so she should enjoy life as best as she could. Perhaps we were too convincing. She seems to have given up.
Whereas, once upon a time, the kids playing in front of her would fill her with joy, now she just worries that they’ll hurt themselves or break something. She’d rather not look at pictures of our trips, which she once loved to do.
Even at Christmas, she showed no enthusiasm for her gifts or for watching the kids open their gifts:
Like Kel, Karen & Jerry, the caregiver (Monday - Saturday, 10 a.m. to 4 p.m.) will usually make her walk to the bathroom and to the dining room. (Although Nana complains…)
Outside of bathroom trips and meals (and an occasional bath), Nana never leaves her chair in the sunroom. She doesn’t care what is on the television. Sometimes Kel will put a movie on, some type of movie like they used to watch together. No interest. Her only interests are going to the bathroom, getting her shots (insulin), meal time (although she has no comment on the actual food) and bed time.
Every now and again, we can see a spark of her old mischievous self. Maybe a smart aleck comment or a smile at a joke. Rare though.
She is self-conscious of her inability to say the words that she wants to say. I think that has really caused her to withdraw. Although, she can speak pretty clearly when irritated - but if she stops to think about what she is saying then she usually gets it wrong. Since her world has contracted so much, it is pretty easy to know that, when she tells us, "I need, can have, my fish", she means she wants her blanket. Or if she says, "The wall, I mean, please house!", means she wants us to turn on the light…
Bottom line? She’s given up on life and is just waiting to die. I sometimes wonder if she’d be happier in a home without the pressure (self-inflicted) to be her old self.
Pop is getting worse as well. His dementia is gradually increasing. His health seems pretty stable - no recent heart, prostate or other problems of the past, although he does seem weaker. After Nana’s fall, he was told that he shouldn’t walk her to the bathroom. I think that’s a bad idea - helping her out (walking her to the bathroom, getting her a drink, getting her blanket, etc.) is about all he can handle anymore. (He does still put away the dishes from the dishwasher in the morning, although I’d rather he didn’t. When it comes time for me to cook dinner, I have problems finding stuff… Plus, he sometimes puts away stuff that has not yet been washed and I have to go through all the cabinets looking for rinsed-but-not-washed dishes. And hoping that I got all of them…)
I’ve been told to stop buying ice cream - Keira and Haley are upset, but Pop eats too much and apparently it leads to diarrhea (and he is too proud to wear his Depends) which leads to major messes…
He hasn’t had (many? any?) rage episodes recently, which is a relief. I guess I’m safe from his killer angels for the time being…
If I’ve gotten any of this wrong, hopefully Kel or Jerry can comment with the correct info…
